so i happened to have a lot to say.. more than i thought i did.

i got something for you to read about:

thanksgiving weekend..

i guess i am putting all my hopes & expectations into that weekend. (and if it goes well.. i'm hoping more would happen during the winter break)
it may not be for another couple of weeks.. but i cant help but to fantasize what shall take place within that week.
oh & especially cause my birthday is coming up real soon.
i did not know thanksgiving & my birthday are just a couple of days apart from each other.
weird.
well, i'm really hoping to go ice skating with a couple of people.
but i am sad cause all the people i'm planning to go with happen to have a plus one..
what am i left with?
answer: nothing..

how come everyone has a plus one but me?
i feel like i'm doing something wrong but i just don't know what it is..

seriously, i'm sick and tired of being lonely for the holidays.
why can't it be as simple as the movies..
(i'm referring to amelie)

me venting:
i'm scared shit less that you might judge me in the meanest way if i ever told you how i felt about you. i even surprised myself.. i would have never seen myself acting like this... ever!
what is it? what do you do that attracts me so much that i feel like exploding from over excitement.
i can't pin point what i desperately like about you.
maybe i'm just tired of being lonely.. but everytime i think that i prove myself wrong because i'm not the type to just like anyone.. (i'm very picky with the one i have affection for)
maybe its your kindness, your passion, our similarities, & most of all.. your love?
i guess i expect you to "save" me... but thats a lot to expect for..
especially if you needed some saving as well..

what i mostly want out of this is to be able to say "i love you" and hear it repeated back to me without any hesitations attached.
i just wish you would have a secret attraction for me so we can be on the same page & one day you would just blurt it out to me cause your tired of the waiting.. tired of the suspense.
i just hope & wish that you have the same demand for me as i do for you..
but i feel like its too good to be true.

come ice skating with me, drink coffee with me, keep each other warm through out the night, find me in the mist of everything else you had plans to do, say happy early birthday to me before you sail off back to your "motherland," just make this my happily ever after ending.. please. most of all.. just tell me that you love me, thats all i could ever ask for.

i feel like i need you, just as much as you need me..
how can i win you and make you see that we can help each other more than you think?
it'll be a win win situation.. no one will have to lose.

i would love to find you standing on my doorstep kissing my forehead, both cheeks, my eyes, my nose, my hand, anything but my lips.. cause if you did..did it at that second.. that moment.. i know i would die from relief.. from excitement.. from the satisfaction.. the love.. from just one kiss.
i know usually you're suppose to kiss the princess & she would awake from her "sleep?"
but for me.. it would be the opposite.
i would be so soo happy.
i would be able to tell myself that i would be satisfied with dying at that moment..
i would not need anything more than the love you have to give.
come on.. why dont you share on the love.

surprise me during the week of thanksgiving, cause i have so much i would like to tell you..
to show you.. to teach you.
& i'm sure if you felt the same way.. you would too.

yours truly,
hopelessly waiting/wanting sharon..