18 years young?

i'm finally 18..
im legal, like everyone has been reminding me.
i can buy my own pack of cigarettes, lotto tickets, porn, and other sorts of stuff.
alcohol is the only substance that is out of the picture.
but other than that.. i dont feel any different.
i feel less of myself cause i just dont feel any older nor.. anything.
life has been good to me, and i thank you for that.
but i just dont feel any different.
i know 18 is just a number.. but when do you finally realize that your getting old!
when will i wake up to reality and see that life is no game.
i cant just relax & kick back and wait for everything to come true in my life.
when will i finally see that i need to get my act together.
obviously i dont see anything now.. cause all i've been doing is playing around & working.
i know i need to go to school... but its not now... but hopefully it'll be soon.
im scared that i'll have no motivation what so ever to get my life starting..
is this how an 18 year old should be feeling?
is this my motivation to start my life?
what is it? where is it?






yours truly,
freaked out sharon...